Consensus
by Natalianova
Summary: One day Heiwajima Shizuo decides to pay Orihara Izaya a peculiar visit. Its results turn out to be unexpected.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello. Since I spotted a lot of mistakes, I decided to make a few adjustments to my very first fanfiction. I'm not going to change the contents drastically, so don't worry. Starting from today, I'm going to edit chapters one by one. **

**Rating: T (Will go up in some of the later chapters).**

**Disclaimer: Durarara and its characters belong to no one else but its creator Ryogo Narita (and whoever else that has rights to it).**

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><p><strong>A Certain apartment in Shinjuku<strong>

"Don't you think the town has been awfully quiet recently, Namie?"

The thin, dark haired man who asked the question was visibly bored. The beautiful woman who busied herself sorting various files simply shrugged.

"I don't know anything about it."

"Tsk. You're so boring Namie. Probably still thinking about you dear little brother?"

"Not really. Right now I'm thinking what kind of poison should I add to your soup, next time when I'm making it."

The man frowned for a second but then started giggling.

"I didn't know you had some sense of humour!"

Namie decided that further discussion with Izaya was as productive as trying to teach a pig how to fly, so she returned to her work. Izaya spun on his swivel chair.

"Hmmm. Maybe I should pay a little visit to Ikebukuro?"

The ringing of the door bell interrupted Izaya's loud contemplations. Namie shot a quick glance at the screen of Intercom.

"Looks like it's an old acquaintance of yours, Izaya."

"An old acquaintance? Who do you mean?"

Izaya curiously looked at the screen. His usual smirk disappeared when he saw who said "acquaintance" was.

"Shizu-chan? What is he trying to accomplish ringing to me like this instead of just kicking my door down?"

Indeed, the person displayed on the screen was a tall, blonde man in bartender's suit.

"Should I let him in?"

"Of course not. There is a chance he'll think nobody's home and just go away."

As if sensing Izaya's intentions Shizuo kicked the door down and proceeded to move towards the apartment. Izaya sighed and pulled his switchblade out. Namie wondered whether she should call for police or ambulance first.

"What is it this time, Shizu-chan?"

"Put your penknife away. I didn't come here to fight. I just want to talk."

"Oh really? And that is why you destroyed my door?"

"It's your own fault for not answering my call."

Izaya hesitated for a brief moment. He couldn't help but notice that Shizuo's behaviour was rather odd. He was not calm by any means. His fists were clenched and the veins were appearing on his face as usual. Yet he seemed to be much more composed than he ever was in Izaya's presence. Finally, Izaya's curiosity won and he retracted his blade.

"What do you want to talk about?"

Shizuo cast his eye over Namie.

"Who is this woman?"

"Namie is merely my secretary and housewife."

Namie slightly frowned at this statement but refrained from any sarcastic comments.

"I'd rather talk to you face to face."

Izaya analysed his chances. Shizuo was less likely to get in an unstoppable rage in a presence of the woman. However, he seriously doubted that Namie would be of any help, if Shizuo really tried to kill him.

"You may leave early today, Namie. Aren't you happy?"

"Like hell."

Namie grabbed her purse and quickly headed for the exit. In her heart she was actually relived that she didn't have to participate in the confrontation of those two freaks. Shizuo waited till she left and then continued.

"I want to reconcile with you."

"Could you please repeat yourself because I'm not sure if I heard you right?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello again. The editing of my old chapters is proceeding smoothly. **

**Rating: T**

**Disclaimer: If Durarara belonged to me, I'd definitely take both Shizuo and Izaya home. Fortunately for them I don't own it.**

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><p>"I said I want to reconcile! Are you deaf?"<p>

Izaya carefully studied Shizuo's face for a brief moment and then burst out laughing.

"Hahaha, how surprising, Shizu-chan! First Namie and now you developed a sense of humour!"

Shizuo's expression darkened. Another vein popped on his forehead and he snarled:

"I wasn't joking!"

"Do you really think that after so many years of fighting, it is possible for us to reconcile just like that?"

"The same I said to my psychotherapist. And she replied that I should give it a try nonetheless."

"A psychotherapist? Have you finally started attending anger management lessons?"

"Not your fucking business."

Izaya smirked. During their high school years both Izaya and Shizuo were labelled as problematic students. A group of teachers had a "brilliant" idea – They made them consult a professional psychotherapist. Nobody knew for sure what had happened to the poor fellow after that. There were rumours that he was taken to the asylum.

"You have been trying to kill me since the day we meet. Do you think I'll forgive you so easily?"

"And you have been framing me for many incidents, gang rivalries including, since the day we meet. I think we are more than even, right Izaya-kun?"

Izaya seriously contemplated Shizuo's offer. Being able to visit Ikebukuro freely, without the necessity of constant running and evading heavy objects flying in his direction, sure would be nice. However, he knew himself very well and was fully aware that reconciliation with Shizuo wouldn't stop him from making the latter's life miserable. At the most he wouldn't do it as openly as he was used to. There was also the issue of Shizuo's inborn talent for destroying most of Izaya's ambitious plans. How he managed to outsmart people much brighter than him with that protozoic brain of his, remained an unresolved mystery. Izaya sighed.

"I need some more time to think about it."

"Well, hurry up with that."

"Don't you worry Shizu-chan. I'll call you when I make up my mind."

"Where did you get my phone number from?"

"I'm an informant. I have my sources."

Shizuo frowned and muttered:

"That bastard Shinra is going to pay me for this."

"And I suppose you're going to pay me for repairing my door?"

Shizuo turned around and proceed to leave.

"My manager will pay for the damages."

"That's nice to hear. See you then, Shizu-chan."

Eventually Izaya decided to accept Shizuo's offer. However, he didn't delude himself that their truce would last long. Shizuo, despite being an idiot, also had his sharp moments. He would probably quickly realise that Izaya had no intention of leaving him alone. Still, this temporary peace might prove useful. It could provide Izaya with an opportunity to carry out his plans easily and without Shizuo's tiresome meddling. He didn't have much to lose anyway. It wasn't really possible that Shiuzo could hate him more. Despite quickly making up his mind, Izaya decided to make Shizuo wait a little longer for his answer. After all, patience was the virtue that the latter had yet to master.

Right after Shizuo left Izaya's building he unclenched his fists and slowly exhaled. He thought about his psychotherapist.

- Hoshino-sensei should be proud of me.

After all, he managed to talk to that Izaya for a couple of minutes and resist the temptation to murder him right on the spot. Still, he had to punch and crush the phone box in front of Izaya's apartment to vent some of his pent-up anger.


	3. Chapter 3

**Here goes the next edited chapter.**

**Rating: T (Shizuo swears a lot, doesn't he? Also there are some small references to you know what).**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Durarara and so on.**

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><p><strong>A certain psychotherapist's office in the West Ikebukuro <strong>

"So, how did your talk with Izaya go?"

The one who asked the question in indifferent tone was middle aged woman with ponytail. Her unhealthily pale skin contrasted greatly with a bright pink uniform she was wearing. The one who answered her was a young, blond-haired man dressed in an outfit that gave him an impression of a ninetieth century waiter.

"He didn't give me the answer yet. Doesn't matter though. He'll probably lie to me anyway. That dammed flea lies every fucking time he opens his goddamned mouth!"

"Please calm down, Shizuo-san. It isn't really important whether Izaya agrees or not. What is important, is the fact that you were able to talk to him without attempting to beat him down to death. I think we may safely assume that you're improving."

It was two months ago when Tom-san introduced Shizuo to Hoshino-sensei. He said she was his distant relative and an accomplished psychotherapist. Shizuo was sceptical at first but he quickly got to like her. Her calm demeanour reminded him of his brother, Kasuka. During their first meeting when Shizuo threw her desk out of the window, she only narrowed her eyes a little and said:

"I see. So that's your problem."

It was also her who convinced him to reconcile with Izaya. She didn't really care about the outcome. She said that since Izaya was the one who triggered his rage the most, it was essential to learn how to tolerate him. Then Shizuo asked her a question:

"Wouldn't it be easier just to kill him?"

"Probably yes. But the legal consequences of that action would be very annoying to you. Also it would cause problems for your family and friends. I suppose you'd rather avoid that?"

Shizuo had to agree with her. Still, he didn't really believe in the possibility of reaching the consensus with a scum like Izaya. He was lost in his thoughts when Hoshino-sensei asked him an awkward question.

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

Shizuo was slightly taken aback. He wondered what having a girlfriend had to do with his anger management.

"No, I don't."

"Did you know that sex is a very good way to relieve stress? If you don't have a girlfriend, then I strongly recommend you to find one."

Shizuo scratched his head while Hoshino-sensei adjusted her big, celadon glasses.

"I'm not really popular with the girls. They are kind of afraid of me."

"Really? Did you read opinions about yourself on the Internet?"

"What kind of opinions?"

"It's not really that important. Just believe me that many girls would gladly go out with you."

The only girls who ever told Shizuo they loved him, had glowing red eyes and were wielding sharp blades. He wondered whether Hoshino-sensei had talked about them. At any rate he'd rather stayed single for the rest of his life than dated any of Saika's daughters.

"I'll give it a try."

"You don't sound too convinced. Could it be that you actually don't like girls? Maybe you should go out with a guy instead?"

Shizuo shot her a death glare.

"There is nothing wrong with being g…Wait!"

"Sorry for the desk. And for the window."

"I really wonder how you manage to earn anything with all that property you are constantly damaging. But never mind that. We will come back to the topic of your sex life another time. I think our session is over for today."

That was one of the reasons Shizuo put up with Hoshino-sensei. No matter how many times he got angry and threw out her desk, she would never resent him for it.

"Thank you very much. And again sorry for the desk."

"Please, don't worry about it too much, Shizuo-san. I didn't like it anyway. Let's meet next week at usual time. Have a nice day."


	4. Chapter 4

**Another chapter was slightly improved.**

**Rating: T**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Durarara (but I don't), Kadota would be my husband. Seriously. **

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><p><strong>Somewhere in Ikebukuro<strong>

"I have thought your offer over, Shizu-chan."

"And…?"

"I will tell you what my decision is when we meet at the Ikebukuro park today at 5 p.m."

"Hell no. I'm busy with work now. And you were the one who insisted on calling me. Just tell me now or fuck off."

Izaya frowned. Dealing with Shizu-chan proved to be difficult as always. Even on the phone.

"My, my you're so impolite, Shizu-chan. Fair enough. I agree. But I have some conditions."

"It's fine. Cause I have my own condition. Just disappear from my life."

"I'd be quite difficult. You know, sometimes I must visit Ikebukuro since both my family and friends live there."

"As if you had any friends. Besides, Mairu and Kururi don't like you at all."

The expression on Izaya's face could only be described as hateful.

"Still, I have to occasionally visit Ikebukuro on business basis. I'd be quite nice if you stopped throwing vending machines at me."

"Fine. Just stay out of my way."

Izaya sighed heavily. And continued the talk without even trying to conceal venom in his voice.

"I'd be also very grateful if you stopped your nasty, little habit of visiting me in the middle of the night with the intention of punching me."

"If you keep your word, I'll keep mine. But I have one more condition."

"What is it?"

"Stop calling me Shizu-chan."

"I can't really hear you Shizu-chan! My phone is discharging! I must finish now! Bye!"

Shizuo growled and crushed the phone in his hand. It wasn't a great loss. He was going to change his number anyway, since Shinra previously had given it to Izaya. Still, that cunning bastard never failed to piss him off. At least he didn't have to look at his face. Just listening to that irritating voice was bad enough.

A few days later Izaya had an opportunity to check if his peace treaty with Shizuo was actually working. He had an "appointment" in Ikebukuro with one of his employees, namely with a certain escapist delinquent, named Kida Masaomi. After the appointment ended, he tried to determine Shizuo's location by looking for flying vending machines but failed. He wondered if it could be credited to anger management lessons but seriously doubted in it. Izaya eventually found Shizuo standing next to the coffee shop and talking to an attractive, blonde, Caucasian girl. A mischievous grin appeared on Izaya's face.

"Hello there Shizu-chan! What a coincidence!"

- Coincidence my ass.

Shizuo looked at Izaya suspiciously and mumbled:

"Hello."

Then he turned back to the girl he previously was talking to. Izaya wasn't used to being ignored like that so he came closer and asked in falsely sweet tone:

"I didn't know you had a girlfriend. Why don't you introduce me?"

Shizuo quickly turned around and shouted:

"Vorona isn't my girlfriend!"

The girl called Vorona looked briefly at Izaya then at Shizuo and asked:

"If I may be excused, Shizuo-sempai, but is this human being, Orihara Izaya, the noxious insect?"

"So that's how you talk about me with your girlfriend. How mean of you, Shizu-chan."

"I told you Vorona is my kouhai, not my girlfriend!"

Shizuo was ready to grab a nearby street sign and beat Izaya to death with it, when he heard a familiar voice.

"Hey, Shizuo! Vorona! The break is over! We have another client to visit!"

The distant voice of his friend, Tom-san has considerably calmed Shizuo down. But he was still glaring daggers at Izaya. Vorona pulled him at his sleeve.

"Let's go, Shizuo-sempai."

Izaya watched as both Shizuo and Vorona walked away in the direction of a bespectacled man with dreadlocks. He waved at them and wondered whether he should tell Shizuo that his lovely kouhai was a former Russian assassin. He decided against it. After all, if he was really lucky Vorona might actually succeed in killing Shizuo. Though it wasn't very likely.


	5. Chapter 5

**Have a nice reading! Here goes another improved chapter.**

**Rating: T (but is soon going up, so be warned).**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Durarara like usual.**

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><p><strong>Shinjuku<strong>

Izaya was cheerfully trolling a certain chat room when his doorbell rang. He looked at the intercom only to see all-to-familiar figure.

- What could Shizu-chan want this time?

Izaya couldn't really remember if he did anything (well, maybe apart from his short visit in Ikebukuro) that would break their agreement. Admittedly, he did overcharge Shizuo's manager for door repair. But it wasn't really big amount of money and he doubted that it could've been easily detected. This time he decided to let Shizuo in, and spare himself another door repair. He gave the ex-bartender an icy glare.

"I thought we both agreed that you won't be visiting me during the night?"

"It's only 6 p.m. so I didn't break any rules. Unlike you since you pestered me in Ikebukuro."

Shizuo's habit of taking everything in literal sense was seriously getting on Izaya's nerves.

"Yeah right. So you came here just to tell me that?"

"Not really. Where is your housewife?"

Izaya couldn't help but notice that Shizuo's behaviour was strange. Even more so than the last time. He seemed to be somewhat anxious.

"Namie already left. Why are you asking? Did you take a liking to her?"

No. I have a proposition for you."

Izaya wondered if Shizuo could come up with anything even more crazy than his earlier proposition of reconciliation, so he asked curiously:

"What kind of proposition?"

Shizuo seemed nervous. He looked away and said:

"How about having some hatesex with me?"

Izaya's eyes were usually pretty narrow. But in that exact moment their size visibly enlarged. He seriously started suspecting that Namie indeed has been poisoning his food. And now due to that he was having some insane hallucinations.

"I hate to tell you that, Shizu-chan but your psychotherapy is having the exact opposite effect and you went completely mad. Is either that or you have been listening to Erika's rants a bit too much."

"Who's Erika?"

"I thought you knew Yumasaki Walker's girlfriend?"

"You mean Karisawa?"

Izaya sighed.

- Next time I'm going to make sure that Namie tastes the food before me.

He didn't voice his thoughts. Instead he said:

"I'm afraid I have to refuse your generous offer. I'm not interested in these things."

"So you aren't gay?"

"Contrary to general belief, I'm not. And as I said, I'm not interested in sex. At least not in its practical aspect."

Shizuo was pretty much confused.

"I don't really get what you're talking about."

"I'm interested and in love with all human beings. Excluding you, of course. But I'm not interested in having sex with them. Is that understandable enough?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Let me ask you one thing. The one who came up with that brilliant idea of hatesex was your psychotherapist, am I right?"

"How did you know?"

Izaya sighed once again.

"You probably won't listen to me but you really should consider quitting your therapy. That psychotherapist woman is not exactly sane."

Shizuo shrugged.

"Like majority of people in Ikebukuro. And her therapy really works. Since I had many occasions to kill you and you're still alive and well, Am I right Izaya-kun?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Editing your own stuff sometimes can be tiresome. **

**Rating: still T (but next one will be M-rated).**

**Disclaimer: I'm sick and tired of not owning Durarara.**

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><p><strong>A few days ago in West Ikebukuro in the office of Hoshino Yukari<strong>

"Would you like some tea, Shizuo-san? It's rose-flavoured."

"No, thank you."

"So, did you manage to find a girlfriend?"

Hoshino-sensei was calmly sipping her tea out of orange china cup. Shizuo wondered why all the colours in her office had to be so bright. Even the plush chair he was sitting on was vividly violet. He answered her reluctantly.

"No, I was busy with work."

Shizuo didn't really feel like talking about suche things. Unfortunately for him, Hoshino-sensei continued discussing the topic of his love life.

"I guess you are acquainted with a few girls, right? Have you considered asking any of them out?"

Shizuo thought about it for a moment. Most of the girls he knew were either already taken like Celty (though he wasn't really sure what she saw in a freak like Shinra), underage like Akane and the Orihara twins, or a bit odd like Karisawa and Vorona.

"No, not really."

"Allow me to ask you another question. Do you feel more comfortable around men or women?"

"Men."

"I see."

It took Shizuo a while to process the hidden meaning of that question. He understood that he made a mistake and protested:

"But that doesn't prove I'm gay!"

"I didn't say it. You may as well be bis…! I did like this desk, Shizuo-san! It was so pretty and pink."

"…"

"Please don't be so grumpy. Did Izaya finally contact you?"

Shizuo ground his teeth.

"Unfortunately he did. That fucking flea first agreed to reconcile and almost immediately after that he came to Ikebukuro!"

"I see. Have you thought of other ways of solving your problem with Izaya?"

"What other ways?"

"Have you heard about hatesex?"

Earlier Shizuo had thought that his psychotherapist seemed just a bit strange. But now he was sure that she was completely insane. Though he didn't fully understand what she had meant, he definitely didn't like the combination of his most hated enemy and sex. He decided to leave the office before he actually killed her. Hoshino-sensei tried to stop him.

"Please wait, Shizuo-san. Yesterday I talked to Tom and he said that you don't get mad as often as you used to. If my other methods helped you to improve, then why don't you just try this one as well?"

Shizuo quickly left, fully aware that their further discussion might result in someone's death.

It took a few days for Shizuo to calmly rethink the advice of Hoshino-sensei. He also had to google the exact meaning of hatesex. Eventually he decided to try something out. And then he headed to Shinjuku to pay Orihara Izaya a little visit.


	7. Chapter 7

**My, I made some corrections to this chapter but I still hate it. I will never write smut again. **

**Rating: M (contains yaoi/lemon [or lime], you have been warned).**

**Disclaimer: I really don't own Durarara. And I suck at writing sex scenes.**

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><p><strong>Back to Shinjuku<strong>

"If you like listening to that crazy woman then fine. Do what you want."

Izaya rolled his eyes and shrugged.

"Right."

With that being said Shizuo quickly charged in Izaya's direction. Despite his surprise Izaya managed to pull out his switchblade and slash Shizuo's chest. However, Shizuo was fast enough to catch both Izya's wrists with his one hand and pin him to the wall.

"Are you crazy? Let go of me!"

"Didn't you just say to do what I wanted? Besides, I already decided to try it out whether you agreed or not."

Right at this moment Izaya really wished it was just poison-induced hallucination. Unfortunately for him, Shizuo's presence was terrifyingly real.

"If you do that, then I'm going to make the hell out of the rest of your life."

Izaya remained disturbingly calm and his voice was ice-cold. But Shizuo wasn't moved at all.

"You'd do it anyway."

"You're going to regret it."

"Playing hard to get, Izaya-kun?"

Shizuo decided that he liked the hateful look on Izaya's face. Much more than the usual, smug one. He ripped his shirt off in one move. The fact that Izaya looked as if he didn't eat at all wasn't a big surprise to Shizuo. What surprised him was that he had so many scars on his skinny chest. Most of them must've been rather old since they were pale and not that much visible. Only one that looked like a knife wound seemed pretty fresh. Shizuo suspected that majority of those scars had been his doing. He sighed and let go of Izaya. The latter was genuinely shocked.

"What do you think you're doing?"

Rape wasn't Shizuo's intention from the beginning. He just wanted to give Izaya a good scare. That was supposed to be his little revenge for breaking the rules of their agreement.

"You're so bony and ugly that I changed my mind."

Izaya narrowed his eyes. Shizuo wondered if he ever saw him as angry as he was right now. But the Izaya calmed down almost instantly and smirked. And then he charged in Shizuo's direction much like the latter did not so long ago. Shizuo already suspected it but still was taken aback with his opponent's unusual speed. He was caught by his bowtie, with blade pressed to his neck. Then Izaya did the most unexpected thing. He kissed Shizuo who bit the intruding tongue without even thinking. Izaya quickly pulled away with smirk still present on his face while wiping off the trails of blood from his lips.

"Now you're playing hard to get, Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo tried to punch him but Izaya easily dodged all his blows.

"I was just joking, you perverted freak!"

"With such a splendid sense of humour, it's no strange that you can't find a girlfriend."

That sarcastic remark really pissed Shizuo off. He seriously regretted that he didn't manage to bit Izaya's tongue off. He didn't care about reconciliation anymore. He just wanted to wipe up that annoying smirk from his enemy's face. He attacked again. Izaya managed to dodge most of Shizuo's blows but the last one hit him indirectly and sent him to the ground. Shizou quickly pinned him to the floor with his body. And then he tore Izaya's pants. The latter smirked.

"So I'm not that ugly anymore?"

"Shut up!"

Shizuo's fist made a hole next to Izaya's face who reacted by bursting out laughing. He didn't protest when Shizuo parted his legs and remained still even when a foreign body has invaded his insides. Only his giggling became even more hysterical. When Shizuo finished he slowly stood up but was still too stunned to realise what he had just done.

"Haha, did you know, Shizu-chan? I've always thought my first time would occur in more romantic circumstances."

Izaya was still laying on the floor and giggling, though his laughter was slightly strangled. Shizuo noticed in horror that the lower part of his white shirt was stained with blood.

"Don't you worry about that, Shizu-chan. There is always blood during first time."

Shizuo couldn't take this madness any longer. He almost run out of the apartment. Izaya's insane laughter has haunted him for a long time after that traumatic event.


	8. Chapter 8

**This one also was edited.**

**Rating:T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Or rather I own some things but definitely not Durarara.**

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><p><strong>Shinjuku<strong>

Izaya was playing with a chess piece while half laying and half sitting on a leather couch. He fixed his eyes on his secretary who was working on the laptop.

"Friendship is a fragile thing, don't you agree, Namie? Even small misfortunes can damage it."

Namie looked carefully at her employer. Recently he didn't seem too well. His skin was unnaturally pale and even his hair weren't as glossy as usual. She wondered if it was caused by the poison she has been adding to his meals. It wasn't very probable since doses were too small to give visible effects in such a short time. Ignoring her stares, Izaya continued his patter.

"I'm sure dear Raira kouhais are going to find about it pretty soon."

Namie didn't really care about Raira kids (except for Seiji, of course) but even she felt a little sorry for them.

"I'm pretty sure freaks like you don't even have the slightest idea what friendship really means."

- Or mental health for that matter.

"That's so mean, Namie. Even I have some friends."

"You mean imaginary ones?"

Izaya smiled sarcastically.

"You really developed a sense of humour. It must be my good influence."

Namie felt a sudden urge to facepalm. She gave her employer a cold stare.

"By the way, you look awful today. Are you ill?"

The tone of Namie's voice clearly indicated that she didn't really care. Izaya smiled mockingly to her.

"Are you worried about my health? I'm so touched."

"I'm more worried about my salary. Speaking of health, since your high school pal started psychotherapy, why don't you follow his example?"

Izaya frowned when he heard Namie calling Shizuo his pal but he answered her question:

"The one psychotherapist I consulted stated that there was nothing wrong with me."

"Then he must have been even crazier than you."

"It might be the case. He was taken to the asylum shortly after that."

Namie seriously suspected that if she worked with Izaya a little longer, she might also land in the asylum one day.

**Ikebukuro**

"Are you feeling all right, Shizuo? You don't look too well."

Shizuo was carefully watched by two pairs of worried eyes, one brown and one blue. He managed a weak smile.

"Everything's fine. I'm just a little tired."

"Maybe you should take a holiday? I think I could do fine with Vorona as my only bodyguard, if it's for a few days."

"It's all right, I can still work."

Vorona decided to cut in.

"If I may be permitted to pose a question to Shizuo-sempai but is that bad mood of yours a connection to noxious insect also called Izaya?"

"Don't even remind me of him!"

His outburst visibly surprised Vorona. It was unusual for Shizuo to get angry with her. He quickly apologised.

"I'm sorry Vorona. I shouldn't have yelled at you. Maybe I really need a break."

Vorona nodded in understanding.

"Forgiveness achieved."

Tom comforted Shizuo by patting him at the shoulder.

"That was our last client. You may go home and rest. You definitely need it."

Shizuo exchanged goodbyes with Vorona and Tom as he parted with them. Soon afterwards he was lost in contemplation. His previous "encounter" with Izaya had left a bitter aftertaste. He was confused and no matter how many showers he took, still felt dirty. He seriously regretted ever following his psychotherapist's advices. And her didn't feel like talking about it with anyone, be it Celty, Tom-san or Kasuka. Shiuzo's thoughts were interrupted by the loud ringing of his new phone. The displayed number was unknown to him, but Shizuo had his suspicions about its owner. Those suspicions proved to be just right when he heard all-too-familiar, hated voice.

"Hello, Shizu-chan."

"What the hell do you want?"


	9. Chapter 9

**Another chapter has been edited. On to the next one.**

**Rating: T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Narita-sensei or anything that is his.**

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><p>"Still so impolite, Shizu-chan. Just like that night. In situations like these you are supposed to give me a farewell kiss and wish me good night before you leave."<p>

"You're one sick bastard."

"It sounds pretty funny when coming from a rapist like you."

"For a poor rape victim you sure didn't struggle very hard."

"Any kind of struggle would be pointless, if your monstrous strength came into the play. By the way, when are you visiting me again?"

Shizuo was completely dumbfounded while Izaya continued in a bright tone.

"Or maybe you prefer me visiting you? I know where you live."

"Don't tell me you actually enjoyed it…You're really sick."

"You say that like it's a bad thing. You don't need to love or even like somebody to actually enjoy sex."

"Why don't just go and die already?"

"As if I heard Namie. It was your idea in the first place. And that crazy psychotherapist's of yours."

"Shinra gave you my number again?"

"I don't reveal my sources. But before you go and ruin Shinra's apartment you should know that it wasn't him."

"So I'll go and ruin Kadota's. Don't call me ever again."

"Right, right. So we're seeing tonight at your place. Bye, bye!"

"Just come to me and I'll kill you."

"So scary. Too bad I heard it about ten thousand times already. Bye now."

This time Shizuo managed not to crush his brand new phone. He decided to vent his anger on unsuspecting vending machine that stand nearby. He had pretty much calmed down by the time he reached his apartment. At least until he saw who has been waiting for him there.

"What took you so long, Shizu-chan?"

"You fucking bastard! How did you get here?"

"Your lock is pretty much outdated. Even an amateur could've easily picked it."

"You have 3 seconds to leave before I kill you. 1…"

"Before you crush me with that door, let me ask you one question. It's about your dear kouhai…"

Shizuo didn't wait for Izaya to finish and threw the door at him. Izaya dodged it with ease and resumed his talking.

"That's so mean of you, Shizu-chan. You got what you wanted and now you don't even talk with me. And I'm just trying to be nice and warn you about your kouhai."

"Stay away from Vorona!"

Izaya quickly jumped, just in time to evade flying wardrobe.

"I'd recommend you just the same. Unless you want a knife in your back."

Even though Izaya dodged the table thrown at him, he failed to notice that it had stirred the vase that fell and crashed on his head.

Shizuo cautiously approached Izaya who was laying on the floor. He quickly confiscated his switchblade but was unsure what to do next. He was tempted to throw his hated enemy out of the window or just strangle him to death. But killing an unconscious person didn't seem right even if it was Izaya, so Shizuo quickly abandoned these thoughts. It also sprung to his mind that he might just rip off Izaya's clothes and do some "things" to him. He abandoned those disturbing (and disgusting) thoughts even quicker. Shizuo carefully studied Izaya and decided he was mostly fine apart from some scratches and bruises. So there was no excuse to drop him off in Shinra's place. Though it probably wouldn't be possible either way since he heard from Celty that Shinra has been ill for a while. Nevertheless, he decided that a perverted freak such as Izaya certainly couldn't be allowed to stay in his house. Then Shizuo thought about one more possible place and a big, sadistic grin appeared on his face.


	10. Chapter 10

**The chapter, in which loving siblings interact, has been edited.**

**Rating: T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Durarara. Really.**

* * *

><p><strong>Somewhere in Ikebukuro<strong>

"Look, Kuru-nee! He is waking up!"

Izaya woke up with a severe headache, only to find himself laying on a bed. With both of his hands tied up to its sides. Next to him sat short-haired, high school girl with a marker in her hand.

"…Morning (Good morning, brother)…"

Beside her stood another high school girl with pigtails and glasses. She was cheerfully brandishing his switchblade.

"You're such a sleepyhead, Iza-nii! I thought you'll never wake up!"

Izaya sighed and looked at his annoying little sisters.

- Shizu-chan is going to pay me for this.

"Stop playing with my switchblade, Mairu. It's not meant for children."

Mairu stuck out her tongue.

"Don't want to!"

"Your parents wouldn't be too happy, if they saw you behaving like this."

"_Our_ parents aren't also too happy that you're dealing with yakuza, Iza-nii."

"Pity…(You're so pathetic)…"

"When are you going to untie me?"

"Not too soon! You're our hostage now! Maybe we should sell you to one of those enemies of yours!"

Izaya sighed once again.

"Seriously, Mairu, Kururi. If you're going to keep hostages, make sure to tie them properly."

And with that being said he quickly freed his hands. The twins gasped.

"Jokes are over. Give me back my switchblade."

Mairu pouted and puffed her cheeks.

"No!"

Izaya made a move in Mairu's direction but Kururi jumped and grabbed onto his neck.

"…Run…(Run for your life, sister)!"

Mairu obeyed instantly. It took Izaya a while to detach Kururi. That allowed him to eventually catch Mairu and take his switchblade away from her. Then he quickly run out of the room and closed the door with a key.

"Open the door, Iza-nii!"

"Injustice…(It's unfair)…"

"You have no right to complain since earlier you have tied me to the bed and were intending to keep me your hostage. My, my what a loving family I have."

Izaya ignored their further protests and headed for the bathroom to wash off drawings that Kururi had left on his face.

When Izaya reached his office, he thought that his day couldn't get any worse. Unless he saw a certain blonde assassin sitting on his swivel chair and reading one of his books.

"Your arrival has been awaited by me."

Izaya wondered why all Russians (except for maybe Dennis and Slon) had such hard time learning proper Japanese.

"Your name is Vorona, right? May I ask why are you here?"

"What my intention to be here is to make you dead."

" And why exactly do you want me dead?"

"The exact reason for you to be dead is your intrusion between me and my prey."

Izaya sighed. It definitely wasn't his lucky day.

"Come on. We have the same goal. We both want Shizu-chan's death. I don't really care whether it's you who'll kill him in the end."

Vorona stood up and quickly produced a combat knife.

"Such issues hold no essential matter, so you're dying anyway."

Izaya decided to change his tactics.

"You want Shizu-chan to like you so much? He is not very fond of violence, you know? He won't be delighted to find out you're a killer."

Vorona's expression changed a little, though it was almost unnoticeable.

"As it was earlier said by me, such issues I don't care."

"So, you probably also don't care that I have already stolen Shizu-chan's first kiss?"

In a blink of an eye Vorona's expression went from calm to furious. She pounced on Izaya and attempted to stab him. Izaya managed to block her with his switchblade. He instinctively evaded her other blows. Their struggle lasted several minutes only to be interrupted by Namie, who came to work as usual. Her arrival startled Vorona who quickly passed her by and run.

Namie was considerably shocked. Izaya patted her on the shoulder.

"You have good timing, Namie."

"Who was that girl?"

"A jealous Shizu-chan wannabe girlfriend, I suppose."

Namie refrained from further questions. Even though her employer seemed calm, she could tell that he was rather irritated. Besides, she greatly valued what remained of her mental health. And she didn't really care.


	11. Chapter 11

**Only 11 chapters left to edit. Yay.**

**Rating: T**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Durarara, Vorona's syntax wouldn't cause me so much problems. *****Sighs***

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><p><strong>Later In Ikebukuro<strong>

"I wonder why Vorona didn't come to work today. And why she isn't answering her phone."

Two men were standing next to the vending machine and smoking. The taller one was wearing the bartender suit. The shorter one had dreadlocks and was also smartly dressed.

"I hope nothing bad happened to her. Vorona sure can kick asses but Bukuro could be dangerous at times."

Just as Shizuo uttered these words, the girl in question appeared. Her hair was in a mess and she was out of breath from running. She bowed to the two men apologetically.

"I'm asking for being forgiven for my late arriving here, Tanaka-sempai, Shizuo-sempai."

"It's all right. Shizuo has already taken care of our first client."

And by taking care Tom meant giving him a free flying lesson.

"Why were you so late? Did something bad happen?"

Shizuo's concern unnerved Vorona a little. She was still angry at herself that she didn't manage to get rid of a certain insect.

"Nothing bad. But I'm unable to describe the details since it's a secret."

Shizuo nodded.

"I'm glad that you're all right."

Faint blush tinted Vorona's cheeks. She quickly turned her head away so her sempais could not see it. Tom adjusted his glasses.

"Now that everyone are here I think we may proceed to the next client."

Shizuo and Vorona followed Tom. When they passed by the bookshop the girl suddenly halted. Her blue eyes grew bigger as she glared at the shop window.

"If I may be allowed to step inside this shop, Tanaka-sempai…"

Tom looked at Vorona then smiled and nodded.

"A new book came out? All right, you may go and buy it. We'll wait for you."

Shizuo observed as Vorona eagerly entered the shop.

"She sure likes to read."

"Yeah, she does. By the way, you two seem to get along very well. I think she likes you a lot."

"Really?"

"Yup."

Shizuo thought about it for a moment. He also liked Vorona. She was a little strange but he didn't know that many normal people (except for his parents, Tom, Kadota, and Celty, though she lacked a head). And she was quite cute. His thoughts were interrupted when Vorona returned from the shop hugging a paper bag. The book piqued Shizuo's curiosity.

"What did you buy?"

Vorona pulled the book out of the bag and showed its cover to Tom and Shizuo. Tom recognised the title.

"_Crime and Punishment_? But wasn't it originally published in Russian?"

"That statement is true. But my desire was to read it in Japanese."

The rest of the day went uneventfully. The clients were pretty cooperative, so Shizuo and Vorona got to beat only few of them. When their work came to an end, Shizuo offered to see Vorona home. She agreed though his unusual behaviour alarmed her. They walked together in silence when Shizuo suddenly decided to break it.

"May I ask you something?"

Vorona nodded while dangerous thoughts were springing to her mind.

- I hope he didn't realise who I am. Could it be that insect told him? If the worst comes to the worst, I'll have to kill him now.

"Would you like to go to cinema with me?"

Vorona stared at him in utter surprise. Shizuo continued while smiling shyly and scratching the back of his head.

"The new film with my brother has just come out. So I thought that maybe we could go and watch it together."

It was the first time Shizuo has actually asked a girl out. Though he was quite sure that Vorona would refuse. And he was right.

"I beg for your apologise, Shizuo-sempai but cinemas, I don't go! And now is the time for my departure! Goodbye!"

Vorona quickly ran away leaving speechless Shizuo behind. She was only hoping that he didn't manage to notice the fiery blush coming to her cheeks.


	12. Chapter 12

**Another chapter with "charming" Hoshino-sensei has been edited.**

**Rating: T**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Durarara. Don't own Durarara. Don't own Durarara. ****Don't own Durarara…**

* * *

><p><strong>Somewhere in West Ikebukuro<strong>

A young man, dressed in black was nonchalantly lounging on a violet, plush chair. Opposite him, behind pink desk, sat bespectacled, middle aged woman in a claret uniform.

"I'm pleased to meet you, Orihara-san."

"No, the pleasure is mine, Hoshino-sensei. And please call me Izaya."

"So it's Izaya-san then. Before we start our session, please put your switchblade on my desk, so that I can see it."

"Why?"

"From bitter experience I learned that one must be rather cautious around patients that carry knives."

Hoshino-sensei pointed to a rather large scar on her cleavage.

"I see. I'll do it then. But you're an interesting woman. You're more scared of my switchblade than of Shizu-chan's rages."

Hoshino-sensei smiled a sunny smile.

"Shizuo-san is very polite and tender young man. Why should I be scared of him?"

"Are we talking about the same person?"

"It isn't really important. You came here to talk about your problems, not Shizuo's right?"

"Shizu-chan is one big problem for me."

"The problem lies in you not in Shizuo. Could you please tell me about your childhood?"

- How typical.

With an enigmatic expression on his face, Izaya proceeded to describe his childhood years:

"Those aren't nice memories. Since I can remember my parents used to lock me in the closet whenever I did something wrong…"

But Hoshino-sensei interrupted him in a bored tone.

"That's all very interesting, Izaya-san. When are you going to start telling me the truth?"

Izaya smirked in response.

"Truth is a rather relative concept."

"That may be, but I don't really see any truth, relative or not, in your statements."

Izaya shrugged his shoulders.

"If you want the truth, then fine. My childhood was pretty normal not to say boring. My parents are also average people. Their only eccentricity manifests itself in their naming habits."

Hoshino-sensei nodded and adjusted her glasses.

"So your childhood was free of traumas?"

"I can't think of any. Does it change anything?"

"That means your bad tendencies are probably inborn. Just like in Shizuo's case. It's not that uncommon as one may think."

The smug smile on Izaya's face disappeared just to be replaced by disgust.

"Don't even compare me to that thick-headed brute."

"You're probably right, Izaya-san. Shizuo-san isn't even half as hopeless as you."

"You shouldn't tell your patient that he is hopeless."

"But it's the truth. You're not a psychopath, I can tell that much. Though it doesn't really matter since you have no intention of changing yourself. Why did you come here in the first place, if you think you don't need any help?"

Izaya's smile grew wider as he answered her in a light-hearted tone:

"Well, my secretary has been pestering me to visit a psychotherapist for a long time. Besides, you're able to deal with Shizu-chan, so I was curious what kind of person you might be."

Both the expression and tone of Hoshino-sensei remained indifferent when she spoke:

"You must've been really bored, Izaya-san. But you're wasting my time. I'm not here to entertain you. Come to me when you're mature enough to start a real psychotherapy."

"I don't think it will ever happen."

"So, we probably won't be seeing each other again. It was nice meeting you, Izaya-san."

"The pleasure was mine. By the way, have you thought about changing your décor? That combination of colours is pretty unnerving."

A disturbingly cheerful smile appeared on Hoshino-sensei's face.

"But I love bright colours. They are so optimistic."

Izaya frowned. This woman started to annoy him intensely.

" Also, you seem to adore Freud so much. I wonder why there is no couch in your office."

"Contrary to Freud, I like looking my patients in the eye."

Izaya sighed then stood up, picked up his switchblade and proceeded to leave. But he stopped halfway and looked back.

"Oh, and I almost forgot to thank you. The hatesex with Shizu-chan was quite good. But I'm having problems talking him into the second round."

This time Hoshino-sensei shrugged and started cleaning her glasses.

"It's something you two have to sort out by yourselves. It's not that you'll be able to force him to it. Have a nice day."

A disturbing smile crept into Izaya's face as a wicked thought crossed his mind.

"Yeah, you're probably right. Bye then."


	13. Chapter 13

**Another chapter with pseudo-smut. Well, at least I made some corrections to it.**

**Rating: M (it's lime rather than lemon).**

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own Shizuo, Izaya or Durarara.**

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><p><strong>Somewhere in Ikebukuro<strong>

Orihara Izaya was a vindictive person. He could bear a grudge against somebody for years. Though in Shizuo's case it was a little different. Revenge was only part of the reason why Izaya indulged in messing with his life. He considered it to be his second hobby, while the first one was, without doubt, human observation.

Izaya decided to pay his Shizuo another visit as a special "thank-you" for all his recent actions. He was a little disappointed to discover that his enemy had changed his lock. The new one was much more complicated. Izaya, who wasn't either a professional burglar, or a professional stalker (like Harima Mika), couldn't pick it so easily. But he remembered that he saw that Shizuo had left an open window. That was his chance.

He climbed the roof and from there he easily reached the window and got into the apartment. To his surprise Shizuo's flat was neat and tidy, without any trace of their recent fight.

- Who would have thought that Shizu-chan was a neat person.

Izaya headed for the bedroom. He wondered whether Shizuo also slept in his bartender outfits. He discovered that the latter was using pretty ordinary, blue pyjamas. As he was cautiously approaching the bed, he caught a sight of veins slowly appearing on his enemy's face. He quickly produced a syringe and injected it into the sleeping man's arm. Shizuo slowly calmed down and lapsed into deeper sleep.

Izaya examined the syringe. Namie told him that it was strong enough to send an elephant to sleep. He wasn't sure how long it would work on someone like Shizuo though. He didn't have much time to spare. Izaya knew he was risking much. If Shizuo woke up, he would certainly be beaten to death. He studied the sleeping man's face.

- Shizu-chan looks so cute while sleeping. So helpless and vulnerable…

With a wicked grin on his face Izaya leaned over Shizuo's sleeping form. Then he pulled his switchblade out and made a small cut on the other man's face. The cut produced one drop of blood which was quickly licked by Izaya. Then he pulled bedclothes away and proceeded to unbutton Shizuo's shirt. Contrary to Izaya's, skin on Shizuo's chest was smooth, without any trace of scarring.

- He has no scars, even tough I've cut him so many times. He really is a monster.

Izaya couldn't restrain himself from leaving some cuts on Shizuo's tawny skin. As well as some hickeys on his collarbone and neck. He was getting seriously turned on. He wasted no more time and removed Shizuo's pants.

"You were kind enough not to take advantage of me when I was unconscious, Shizu-chan."

A cruel smirk appeared on Izaya's face.

"But I'm not going to return the favour."

Izaya produced a condom. It was important not to leave any traces. He wondered how would it feel to be doing this to Shizuo, if he was conscious. He wouldn't mind looking him in the eye. Nevertheless, Izaya wanted to live a little longer. Shizuo didn't appear to be significantly affected by his actions. Probably he was unable to feel any pain with that monstrous body of his. When Izaya finished, he carefully cleaned after himself and made sure not to leave any obvious evidence of his presence in the flat. Lastly, he planted a kiss on Shizuo's lips.

"Good night, Shizu-chan!"

And then he left.


	14. Chapter 14

**Still in the process of editing. But this chapter is done.**

**Rating: T**

**Disclaimer: I own only Hoshino-sensei. Not Durarara and others.**

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><p><strong>West Ikebukuro, Office of Hoshino Yukari<strong>

"So, you've changed your mind, after all?"

"Well, I decided there is no harm in trying."

This time Izaya put his switchblade on the desk without even being reminded about it. Hoshino-sensei smiled to him.

"Wise decision. Would you like some tea?"

"Yes, please."

Hoshino-sensei poured some tea from a pink teapot to a red china cup and handed it to Izaya.

"Before we start your therapy there is one more rule. No lies. I can always tell when someone is lying. If you don't want to talk about something, then simply tell me and we'll change the topic."

Izaya shrugged and took a small sip from his cup. The taste wasn't really to his liking.

"Fair enough."

"Previously you said that it was your secretary who told you to start psychotherapy. Could you please tell me something more about her?"

"Namie is an awful person. She is sarcastic, vindictive and egoistic. All she cares about is her beloved little brother who is even worse than her."

"If she is so horrible, then why do you work with her?"

"Well, she is a very competent secretary. And her cooking is great. When she isn't adding poison to it, that is."

Hoshino-sensei raised an eyebrow.

"I see. I also heard that you have no friends. Could you please tell me if it is true?"

Izaya smiled sarcastically but not without some bitterness.

"Let me guess, Shizu-chan told you that? It isn't true. I _do_ have a friend."

"What kind of friend is he?"

"He is a perverted freak who hopelessly fell in love with a woman that is lacking an essential body part."

"I didn't actually ask about his preferences. Is he a good friend?"

Izaya's expression turned completely sour.

"Well, he is the insensitive kind that doesn't care that his friend has been stabbed and landed in the hospital."

"I guess everyone has friends they deserve."

"You really shouldn't tell such things to your patients. What if I break down and commit suicide?"

"You're not the type of person that would commit suicide."

Izaya smiled again.

"Well, I guess you're right."

"Let's talk about your family. You said your parents are normal people, right? What about your little sisters?"

"Shizu-chan must've talked a lot about me."

"Shizuo-san wasn't the one who told me this."

"So, you've done your own research on me?"

"I don't do such things. I learned this fact by pure coincidence."

"Don't tell me… Are Mairu and Kururi also your patients? They weren't on the list."

"You are the information broker here. I'm sure you can easily check this."

Izaya made a resolution to do another research on Hoshino Yukari. A very extensive one. He resumed his talking:

"You're right. My sisters are intolerable. They believe they are single person yet they act completely different. Not to mention thy are perverted and inclined to incest. But if you talked to them you should already know they are eighth-grade-disease patients "

"You don't seem to like your sisters very much?"

"Well, it's mutual. They tried to kill me only because they thought Shizu-chan would let them meet his idol of a brother, if they did so."

Hoshino-sensei nodded understandingly.

"I see. You must be a really lonely person."

"I don't complain about that. If I'm not close to anyone, that means I can easily indulge in my hobby which is observing people."

"If you are not able to be honest with others, at least try to be honest with yourself."

Izaya frowned.

"I wasn't lying."

"Or so you believe. If you were truly satisfied with being alone, you wouldn't hire your secretary just to have someone to talk to. You wouldn't cling to a friend that treats you so indifferently. Also you wouldn't seek Shi…

Izaya interrupted her:

"Who do you think you are to judge me?"

Hoshino-sensei smiled a cheerful smile that unnerved Izaya even more than the insane colours in her office.

"Well, I'm a psychotherapist. It's my job. You're paying me a lot of money for it."

Izaya sighed and put the cup away.

"Looks like I made a mistake. Maybe I'm not mature enough to start therapy yet."

"If you say so. Though I have a feeling you'll be coming back. Have a nice day, Izaya-san."


	15. Chapter 15

**This newly edited chapter refers to the events that happened in the 8****th**** volume of the novel.**

**Rating: T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Celty, Shizuo, Shinra and other things.**

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><p><strong>West Ikebukuro Park<strong>

"You know, Celty, I think I started sleepwalking recently."

[Sleepwalking?]

A woman wearing a black riding suit and kitty helmet was sitting on a bench. Beside her sat blonde-haired, young man in a bartender suit.

"Yeah. I noticed that sometimes when I wake up I have bruises and scratches all over my body. So, I deduced I must be walking in my sleep."

[You think that's the reason?]

"What else could it be? When I told Tom-san about it, Vorona made a long speech about sleepwalking. I didn't understand half of it. But she said that it might be a side-effect of stress and overworking. And then Tom-san forced me to take at least one day off."

[They are worried about you.]

"Yes, I know."

[Have you tried talking to your psychotherapist about it?]

Celty's innocent question visibly enraged Shizuo . Veins appeared on his face and he almost shouted:

"Don't even remind me of her! That woman is crazy! Every time I came to her she tried to make me believe that I'm gay! And she told me to do these disgusting things with Izaya!"

Celty made a placatory gesture. Fortunately for her, she didn't have the slightest idea what her friend meant.

[I don't even know what you're talking about, Shizuo! Please calm down!]

Veins disappeared and Shizuo's expression returned to normal. He quickly apologised.

"I'm sorry, Celty. I got a little carried away. I should not bother you when you have your own problems. Tell me, how is Shinra doing? Is he any better?"

[It's all right. Shinra is slowly improving. However, he still can't leave a bed on his own.]

"Have they caught the guy who did it?"

[Not yet.]

"This guy deserves to die! If he tried to stab somebody to death, he certainly deserves it! I'll kill him! Kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill…"

Though Celty usually tried to restrain Shizuo's murderous impulses, this time she was tempted to kill that bastard who had tortured Shinra herself. She clenched her fist.

[I'll try to find him. And then he'll regret what he's done.]

Shizuo nodded. There was determination in his eyes.

"You can count on me when you find him. I'll help you beat him to death."

Celty didn't necessarily plan to kill that man. Nevertheless, she was grateful to Shizuo for his support. It was so good to have a caring friend like him.

* * *

><p><strong>As a bonus (and compensation for a short chapter, next will be much longer, I promise) I'm including Hoshino-sensei's character profile.<strong>

_**Hoshino Yukari**_

**Height**: 170cm  
><strong>Weight<strong>: 65kg  
><strong>Birthday<strong>: August 31st  
><strong>Blood Type<strong>: A  
><strong>Hobbies<strong>: Judo, origami  
><strong>Things she likes<strong>: Bright colours, roses, relaxation music  
><strong>Things she dislikes<strong>: Aggressive patients with knives  
><strong>Foods she likes<strong>: Sushi, hamburgers, ramen, tempura, pizza, dumplings…  
><strong>Foods she dislikes<strong>: I like everything  
><strong>Favourite saying<strong>: "_A certain degree of neurosis is of inestimable value as a drive, especially to a psychologist_." – Sigmund Freud


	16. Chapter 16

**Editing long chapters such as this one is tiresome.**

**Rating: T**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Durarara.**

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><p><strong>North Ikebukuro<strong>

"Seriously, Izaya-san. It's not that your presence is unwanted or anything, but I really can't understand why you keep coming here. Since you insist that you don't need therapy."

Hoshino-sensei adjusted her celadon glasses and gave her smiling patient a scrutinising stare.

"Well, I have two reasons."

"And those reasons are…?"

"First I want to exasperate you. Second I'm hoping that you'll tell me about Shizu-chan's weak points."

Izaya smiled his usual smug smile. Hoshino-sensei answered him in her usual bored tone.

"You're not exasperate me, if that's what you're aiming for. You may not believe me but I have even more irritating patients than you."

"Let me guess, those patients have a habit of throwing your desk out of the window?"

"Speaking of Shizuo-san, I usually don't discuss my patient's problems with others. But since you two are so close, I may make an exception and tell you about his weak points."

To Izaya's surprise, Hoshino-sensei turned out to be more cooperative than he initially thought.

"I'm all ears."

"First of all he is too shy. And too modest. If it wasn't for that he'd found himself a girlfriend long ago. Or boyfriend for that matter."

Izaya started to be mildly irritated but he didn't stop smiling.

"You have really bad sense of humour, do you know?"

Hoshino-sensei smiled her usual, cheerful smile.

"Oh, but I like my sense of humour."

Hoshino-sensei was one of the few human beings that truly annoyed Izaya. He had difficulty with reading her. But this time he had something to use against her.

"Maybe instead of talking about me, we'll talk about you for a change?"

"My patients usually come here to talk about themselves, but if you insist…"

"So, how about discussing one of your patients? For example, Mr. Clean?"

"I must admit that I'm quite amazed that you were able to find out about him."

A mild surprise could be heard in the woman's voice. With a mocking smile of his face, Izaya continued to reveal the information he had been able to gather about Hoshino-sensei.

"It was during your stay in United States, Am I right? You returned to your maiden's name after your husband died. But back then you were called Yukari Simmons."

Hoshino-sensei shrugged her shoulders. Although she still seemed indifferent as usual, Izaya noticed that she wasn't that comfortable discussing her past.

"That's all true."

"But I'm beginning to be afraid of you. Since you've almost beaten one of your patients to death with a chair."

Hoshino-sensei sighed. Although her face showed small hints of annoyance, her voice remained indifferent.

"As long as you're not trying to cut me with that switchblade of yours, you have nothing to be afraid of. And as you probably know, that patient was a serial killer also called Mr. Clean. He wanted to undergo the therapy to treat his obsessive compulsive disorder. But his problems were much deeper. He believed that his obsession with cleanness was interfering with his murders."

Izaya raised one of his eyebrows.

"And you were trying to explain him that he was wrong by beating him to death?"

"No. Actually I was trying to stop him from cutting me to slices."

"How heroic of you."

"There was nothing heroic about it. Just a simple self-defence."

Izaya smiled a vicious grin.

"Your patients would not be too pleased, if they found that you are prone to aggressive behaviours."

"Probably. Is that a blackmail?"

"Blackmail is such an ugly word. Let's say that I won't spread rumours about your violent tendencies and in return you do me a little favour."

"What kind of favour?"

"You probably record all your sessions, right? It would be nice if you gave me all of Shizu-chan's recordings."

"Seriously, Izaya-san. Your obsession with Shizuo-san is really unhealthy. Maybe instead of making his life miserable, you should invite him to a date?"

"Again, your jokes are really unfunny."

"I'm afraid that I couldn't give you any of those recordings, Izaya-san. Even if I wanted to. Because they are in all there."

Hoshino-sensei pointed to her head.

"That's fine. If you don't record them, you may as well repeat all what Shizu-chan said during the sessions."

"I won't repeat anything, Izaya-san. My reliability as a psychotherapist would suffer more, if I disclosed my patient's information, than if you spread rumours about me beating Mr. Clean."

Izaya didn't not even try to conceal sarcasm in his voice.

"How noble of you."

"Don't get me wrong, Izaya-san. I'd do the same thing, if somebody asked me to disclose _your_ information. It's a matter of professional ethics."

"Looks like I won't be able to convince you. Fine."

"But seriously, Izaya-san, have you really thought that this would work?"

Indeed, Izaya suspected that Hoshino Yukari was not the kind of person that would easily succumb to blackmail. Still, he wanted to observe her reaction. Admittedly, he managed to shatter her indifferent mask and even slightly irritate her, but in the end she proved to be adamant.

- What a pity.

"Well, I thought that there is no harm in trying."

After hearing Izaya utter these words, Hoshino-sensei adjusted her glasses and sighed.

"I don't really mind, if you're making research on me. But please be so kind not to bother my daughter. Yukimi is a busy girl. Besides, she asked me yesterday whether I got into troubles with Yakuza. A guy named Nakura called and asked her some strange questions concerning me. Do you know anything about it?"

"I don't really know what you're talking about. I used to know a guy named Nakura from school but now we rarely speak witch each other."

"Have you forgotten that I can detect lies? You are really hopeless. But never mind. When are you going to visit me again, Izaya-san?"

"You are _really_ strange. You still want to me to visit you after what I've done?"

Hoshino-sensei smiled her usual disturbingly cheerful smile and answered.

"Well, I don't mind as long as you're paying me. As I said I have even more irritating patients to deal with. And I understand that you _do_ feel lonely sometimes and might want to talk to somebody. Since both your secretary and your only friend are already fed up with you."

"I really don't like you. Less so than Shizu-chan but still."

Izaya didn't bother with putting his smiling mask on anymore. His face expressed clear distaste. Despite that Hoshino-sensei didn't stop smiling as she replied:

"Have a nice day, Izaya-san."


	17. Chapter 17

**About 75% of my editing work is done. Yay. And again sorry for the OC that is in relationship with the canon character.**

**Rating: T**

**Disclaimer: Apart from my OCs I don't own a thing.**

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><p><strong>Morning in Ikebukuro<strong>

"You look much better now, Shizuo. Apparently several days of break did wonders for you."

"Thank you, Tom-san. I also feel better."

Shizuo returned his employer's smile. Indeed he was currently in a very good mood. He owed it to his talk with Celty. Confiding in her always made him feel better. As well as a long absence of a certain information broker in Ikebukuro. Seeing Izaya's face always pissed Shizuo off, but now it also reminded him of what happened not so long ago. And he certainly didn't want to remember that. Tom adjusted his glasses and took out the list of their clients.

"All right. Our first client for today is…"

"TOOOOOM!"

Before Tom could finish his sentence, a young woman approached from behind and forcefully glomped him. Tom looked at her in surprise while she was practically gluing herself to him.

"Ahh, it's you, Yukimi-chan."

Tom seemed rather embarrassed while woman's attitude was remarkably cheerful.

"It's been a while! I'm so happy that I was finally able to meet with you, Tom!"

Shizuo was rather confused while Vorona observed the whole situation with her usual indifference. Tom smiled apologetically to them.

"Let me introduce you – This is my girlfriend. Her name is Yukimi Simmons."

Shizuo vaguely remembered Tom mentioning something about having a girlfriend. He described her as "somewhat strange but rather nice." But he forgot to mention that Yukimi was also a real beauty. She had fair skin, dark blue eyes and nice figure. Shizuo thought that Tom was quite lucky.

Yukimi's smile grew even wider as she turned to Tom's companions.

"So, you are Shizuo-san and Vorona-san? Tom told me a lot about you! I'm glad that I was finally able to get to know you in person!"

"Yeah, nice to meet you too."

Shizuo smiled shyly to the girl. Vorona was even less enthusiastic and merely nodded her head. It didn't discourage Yukimi though.

"How do you like my mother's therapy, Shizuo-san?"

"Huh?"

Tom seemed embarrassed and proceeded to explain:

"I forgot to tell you. Yukimi-chan is Hoshino-sensei's daughter."

Now Shizuo was greatly surprised since Yukimi didn't look anything like her mother. Although both of them seemed to be rather fond of bright colours. Yukimi's dress was insanely colourful. Unfortunately she reminded him about that awful therapy and its undesirable side effects. It was enough to made him seriously pissed off. Veins started appearing on his face. Sensing the upcoming disaster, Tom quickly changed the topic.

"Anyway, what brings you here, Yukimi-chan?"

Luckily for her, Yukimi could be easily distracted.

"It's so rare for us to go out together! We haven't seen each other for a whole week! That's why I decided that today we should go to cinema and watch that new horror film!"

Tom adjusted his glasses with an unreadable expression.

"I'm very sorry for that but I have a lot of work to do today. We'll go some other time."

Yukimi made puppy eyes and pouted. Shizuo decided that he owed Tom something since it was probably his fault that the latter was overworked. Besides, Tom did Shizuo many similar favours in the past. He opened his mouth to say:

"You two may go. We don't have that many clients today. Me and Vorona will take care of them."

"Really? Thank you so much, Shizuo-san!"

Yukimi smiled a happy smile but Tom raised one of his eyebrows and looked at Shizuo in disbelief.

"Are you sure, Shizuo?"

"I promise not to kill any."

"Please don't beat them too badly."

That was the last thing Tom managed to ask for since visibly delighted Yukimi was already dragging him away. His expression wasn't too pleased. Shizuo knew that his friend didn't like horrors too much. He came to a conclusion that Tom might not be so lucky, after all. He sighed and turned to Vorona.

"Now is only the two of us. I hope you don't mind."

Vorona shook her head. They proceeded to do their work using the list that Tom had left them. Completing the job turned out to be quite easy task. Only one of their clients was foolish enough to refuse to pay. But he quickly changed his mind after Shizuo smacked him in the head with his own door. They managed to finish everything in the early afternoon. Shizuo was ready to say goodbye and part with Vorona but she stopped and pulled him at his sleeve.

"May I be allowed to ask a question to Shizuo-sempai?"

Shizuo nodded while wondering what Vorona might want from him. Today she was even quieter than usual. She didn't look in his direction as she spoke:

"My wish was to inquire about currency of that film."

"What film?"

"The one with Shizuo-sempai's brother."

"Ah, you mean that. So, you've changed your mind?"

Vorona nodded though she still wasn't looking in Shizuo's direction. He smiled.

"If you want to, we may go now. It's still early. I'll check the repertoire"

Vorona nodded again. There was a little smile on her face which couldn't be seen by Shizuo. She didn't know what made her more happy. The opportunity to watch a film with her sempai, or the opportunity to kill him once and for all.


	18. Chapter 18

**Shirona shipping chapter has been edited.**

**Rating: T**

**Disclaimer: If Durarara belonged to me I'd keep all its bishies in my basement. *devilish grin***

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><p><strong>Meanwhile in Shinjuku<strong>

"I wonder if Green Hornets stand any chance against Dollars… They definitely have disadvantage in numbers. Not to mention that their leader is an arrogant fool… What is your opinion, Namie?"

Izaya was moving various pieces on his chessboard while Namie was working with her laptop. As usual, she didn't show much interest in her employer's enquiry.

"Why would I care?"

"I thought you hated Mikado-kun?"

Namie shrugged and raised her head to look at Izaya.

"I wouldn't mind, if that awful boy dropped dead. But contrary to you, I'm not interested in the other people's lives. Except Seiji's of course."

"You're monothematic like always."

"By the way, what did you need so much of that tranquilizing serum for? I presume that you didn't take a liking to hunting elephants?"

Izaya made an innocent-looking face. Although it couldn't fool Namie.

"It's a secret."

"Could it be that you need it for your high school buddy? So that you could drug him and keep him tied in your basement?"

"I'm glad that you started using your newly developed sense of humour and that was indeed very funny, Namie. But I don't have a basement."

Izaya always appreciated Namie's intelligence. She was an excellent secretary. Maybe expect for her sarcastic comments, though he quickly got used to them. But now he was beginning to think that she might be a little too sharp to his liking. Namie raised one of her eyebrows and gave him a questioning look.

"So what are you intending to do with it?"

"Didn't I told you it's a secret? Besides, you said that other people's lives were of no interest to you."

Namie shrugged and returned to her work mumbling.

"Fine, it's probably not something that I'd like to know."

"Precisely. By the way, you reminded me that Shizu-chan hasn't seen my face for a while. I should show myself to him. Otherwise he might miss me so much to pay me another visit. And I don't feel like having my brand new door broken."

"Haven't we just moved? Do you suspect that he already knows about it?"

"Shinra is such a wonderful friend that he is just as willing to give me Shizu-chan's phone number as he is willing to give him my new address."

Namie raised her head again just to show Izaya her sarcastic smile.

"A wonderful friend, indeed. You're lucky to have him."

Izaya sighed and reached for his fur-trimmed jacket. He could swear that today Namie was even more spiteful than usual. He suspected that her bad mood might be a result of Mairu and Kururi carrying her "good" news that Seiji and Mika got along well.

- Namie seriously should consider changing the object of her affections. Otherwise becoming a spinster is just a matter of time for her.

Of course Izaya was reasonable enough not to verbalise his thoughts.

"I'm leaving for Ikebukuro now. I'll be back after several hours, and I'm hoping that a dinner would be waiting for me. Be so kind not to add any arsenic to it this time, okay Namie?"

Namie muttered something incoherently in response, without even raising her head. She wasn't fazed at all when her employer had finally found out about her little "hobby". After all, arsenic had some medicinal properties. If used in very small doses, that is.

**Ikebukuro**

Izaya strolled through the streets. At the first glance he might appear relaxed. But in reality he was very cautious. Years of experience allowed him to dodge heavy objects flying in his direction, without much of an effort but he always remained alert. After all, Shizuo wasn't the only enemy he could met in Ikebukuro. There were also his sisters, Simon, Aoba, Anri with her Saika… The list of his enemies was endless. Though Ikebukuro seemed so peaceful this day that Izaya almost felt disappointed.

Several hours have passed and he was still unable to find Shizuo. He sat on a park bench and in no time he was lost in his thoughts. When Izaya had told Namie that Shizuo hadn't seen him for a while, it was the truth. But he didn't mention that he had been seeing his enemy quite regularly. Though the latter was always asleep. At first Izaya only wanted to get back at Shizuo. But then he found out that those "nightly activities" were highly addictive. Unfortunately they were also highly dangerous. Izaya knew for certain that if Shizuo managed to found out about all this, he'd be killed without any mercy. Yet he couldn't stop himself from doing it.

Finally, he spotted Shizuo coming out of the cinema. To Izaya's surprise he was accompanied by a blonde girl. Both of them appeared quite content. The girl was smiling a small smile while Shizuo talked to her, blissfully unaware of who she actually was.

- Is Shizu-chan really so naïve to think that any normal girl would be interested in someone like him?

Admittedly, the girl in question, also called Vorona, was far from being normal. Not so long ago Izaya had to move just because she somehow managed to get his address (he suspected that Dennis or Simon might have something to do with it) then broke into his office and tried to stab him with a combat knife. Nevertheless, Shizuo and Vorona seemed so happy that Izaya immediately decided to destroy that idyll.


	19. Chapter 19

**Only three chapters left to edit.**

**Rating: T**

**Disclaimer: Just read the previous disclaimers and make a guess whether Durarara belongs to me or not.**

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><p>Izaya stood up and stretched lazily. Then he took a walk. When he was sure that Shizuo could see him, he waved his hand. Surprisingly Shizuo didn't instantly charge at him. Instead he apparently excused himself to Vorona first. Then he grabbed the nearest street sign and threw it at Izaya. Since the latter kept safe distance, he had no problems with dodging it. He stuck his tongue out at Shizuo and started running. As expected, Shizuo quickly followed him.<p>

"IZAYAAAA!"

Izaya laughed in response and jumped to avoid a stop sign flying in his direction. The chase lasted some time until Izaya stopped at a secluded alley and grinned at Shizuo.

"Why so aggressive, Shizu-chan? Are you mad that I interrupted your date?"

"Hell no. I'm mad because you showed your ugly face in Ikebukuro."

Izaya narrowed his eyes slightly but his vicious grin remained in its place.

"That was so rude, Shizu-chan. My face may not be as pretty as your girlfriend's but it definitely isn't ugly."

"I don't fucking care! Just shut up and die!"

Shizuo took a hold of the nearest dustbin and sent it flying in Izaya's direction. As usual the latter dodged it with ease. There were no other heavy objects to throw, so Shizuo started approaching Izaya with the intention of beating him with his bare hands. Izaya had the unpleasant feeling of being cornered. He started talking to Shizuo in an attempt to distract him.

"Speaking of your girlfriend… Actually she is an assassin. Why do you think she agreed to go on a date with you? She has been planning to kill you all the time."

"And do really you believe that I'll buy this bullshit?"

"If you don't want to believe me, then it's fine. As far as I'm concerned, you two may even commit lover's suicide. But could you please be so nice and tell your girlfriend to refrain from visiting me with her combat knife and ready to kill?"

"What the hell are you talking about? Why would Vorona visit you?"

"Well, perhaps she was thinking of doing you a favour. Or she was just jealous. Maybe both."

Izaya managed to seriously confuse Shizuo. And while confused he tended to react in a violent way. The hole where Izaya was standing a second ago provided a visible proof. The latter sighed and took his switchblade out.

"You never listen, don't you?"

"Listening to you is a waste of time, Izaya-kun! 99,99% of things you say are lies!"

"Wasn't it 99% last time? Is it increasing?"

"Shut up!"

Shizuo tried to punch Izaya but his fist ran into the alley's wall. Izaya took an advantage of this opportunity and slashed him in the hand tearing the sleeve of his bartender suit. This resulted in transforming Shizuo's anger into pure fury. He grabbed both Izaya's wrists and made him drop his switchblade. Then he slammed him into the wall. To his surprise Izaya stopped putting up any resistance. Instead he just lowered his head and said in a small voice:

"If you're going to rape me, at least do it in a place that is slightly cleaner and more private. For example, in your apartment."

Shizuo's expression showed utter disbelief and confusion. He always knew that Izaya was a freak, but now he apparently went completely insane. Shizuo wondered if it was due to the trauma of what he had earlier done to the information broker. Izaya sensed that Shizuo got carried away. That was all the distraction he needed. He quickly kicked Shizuo between his legs, which allowed him to break free from his grip. Most normal men would be writhing in pain after something like that, but Shizuo was merely taken aback. Izaya picked up his switch blade and gave his enemy a bright smile.

"I was just joking, Shizu-chan. But you may come and visit me, if you feel like having a hatesex again. I had to move, but don't worry. I'm sure Shinra will give you my new address. Bye, bye and take care!"

And with that being said Izaya turned on his heel and ran away from the alley, leaving speechless Shizuo behind.


	20. Chapter 20

**A chapter briefly discussing Takashi Miike's creations also has been edited.**

**Rating: T (but Takashi Miike's films are often M-rated, remember!)**

**Disclaimer: I owned Durarara. And then I woke up.**

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><p><strong>Ikebukuro<strong>

How was your date, Tom-san?"

Usually Shizuo wasn't the sort of person that would poke his nose in the other people's lives. But this time he asked about the date because he felt slightly guilty. He suspected that he didn't actually do his friend a favour by enabling him to go on a date with Yukimi. Tom smiled faintly to him.

"It was fine for the most part. The film turned out to be better than I expected."

"If I may be allowed to ask about title of that film?"

Vorona paused her reading and raised her head to ask this question. She was aware that while her knowledge about books was extensive, she didn't really know that much about films. Her intention was to broaden that knowledge since it might prove useful to her in the future. Tom answered her question:

"It was _One Missed Call_. I was slightly afraid that this film would be very drastic. I saw _Audition_ and other creations of that director. Believe me, they were not the most pleasant things to watch before dinner. _One Missed Call_ was still scary, but at least it didn't have so many gory scenes."

Vorona put both _Audition_ and _One Missed Call_ into a category of films that she should not invite Shizuo-sempai to. Nevertheless, she decided to watch them alone. Tom continued:

"It got worse after we went with Yukimi to eat dinner together. She started talking about marriage. She said that she wanted to marry before she turned 26. I told her it was a ridiculous reason for marrying. And now she is cross with me and doesn't want to talk with me at all."

Vorona decided to cut in:

"I beg to be corrected if my assumptions are inaccurate but according to the data I acquired by reading books, a Japanese woman's ability to marry drastically decreases after her being more than 25."

"It used to be like that in the past and even nowadays there are people who still think in such a way. But it's pretty out-fashioned and stereotypical. I personally believe people should marry out of love, not because they reached a certain age."

Tom's words calmed Vorona down. She thought that 5 years was a lot of time to make her sempai marry her but knowing she had even more time was still reassuring.

Unlike Vorona, Shizuo was anything but reassured after hearing his friend's words. Contrary to Tom's, Shizuo's date turned out to be rather successful. At least until a certain person interrupted it. Though Shizuo didn't actually consider it technically to be a date, because he still believed that he and Vorona were just friends from work. Nevertheless, both of them enjoyed the film. It only added to Shizuo's guilt.

"I'm sorry Tom-san, It's all my fault. If I hadn't told you to go, you wouldn't have had a quarrel with your girlfriend."

"What are you talking about, Shizuo? Of course it wasn't your fault! That quarrel was actually a good thing. It made me realise that maybe Yukimi and I are not meant for each other, after all. We just couldn't agree on a single thing."

Shizuo decided that if even someone as understanding and kind as Tom could not stand Yukimi, then she must've been really intolerable. Like mother, like daughter. This reminded him about Izaya's recent, disturbing behaviour. Shizuo was sure that the information broker was plotting something.

- Is it possible that he wants to provoke me again, then go to police and present himself as a poor victim of rape? If that's his reasoning, then why didn't he do it the first time?

Shizuo didn't feel like involving any of his friends in his current problems. But he had a strong need to talk with someone about it. Eventually he came to a difficult decision. As crazy and unbearable as Hoshino-sensei might be, she was probably the only person that could help him under these circumstances.

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><p><strong>And as a bonus here is Yukimi's character profile (Although she is my least favourite OC).<strong>

_**Yukimi Simmons**_

**Height**: 171cm  
><strong>Weight<strong>: Too much  
><strong>Birthday<strong>: April 21st  
><strong>Blood Type<strong>: B  
><strong>Hobbies<strong>: Drinking  
><strong>Things she likes<strong>: Bright colours, men wearing glasses, horror movies  
><strong>Things she dislikes<strong>: her curly hair (she straightens it everyday)  
><strong>Foods she likes<strong>: Most vegetables, sake  
><strong>Foods she dislikes<strong>: Meat (she's a vegetarian)  
><strong>Favourite saying<strong>: "_Drinking is a way of ending the day_." – Ernest Hemingway


	21. Chapter 21

**Only one more chapter left.**

**Rating: M (cause Hoshino-sensei talks about her favourite topic).**

**Disclaimer: I'm in despair. The fact that I have to write repeatedly that Durarara doesn't belong to me has left me in despair. Honestly ;)**

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><p><strong>Somewhere in the North Ikebukuro<strong>

"I'm so happy to see you again, Shizuo-san. Would you like some tea?"

Shizuo shook his head. Contrary to Hoshino-sensei, who was currently smiling cheerfully, he was far from being happy. His eyes hurt from all those bright colours in her office. He would have to get used to them again.

"Before we start, I have one request. I really like this desk, Shizuo-san. My beloved daughter gave it to me as a present. She also painted it that beautiful purple colour. Don't throw it out of the window, pretty please?"

"Okay."

If Shizuo wasn't against hurting women, he would gladly throw her out instead. He might've mad with Hoshino-sensei but he also was aware that the blame for what happened should not be put entirely on her. She was just trying to help, it was him who screwed up, after all. Literally. He sighed. The psychotherapist took a sip from her pink cup and asked a question:

"What did you want to talk with me about, Shizuo-san?"

"I wanted to talk about Izaya. He's been behaving very strangely since that thing happened."

"That thing, huh? I heard about it from Izaya-san. But I still don't know all the details."

Shizuo shot her a death glare. Sensing that her precious desk was in danger, Hoshino-sensei quickly changed the topic.

"In what way is Izaya-san's behaviour strange?"

"He makes those strange sex suggestions… At first I thought he was just fooling around, but now I'm starting to suspect he might be serious."

"Maybe he actually enjoyed what happened that night?"

"How can anyone enjoy something like that?"

Hoshino-sensei gave Shizuo a smile so eerie that it sent shivers down his spine.

"People _do_ enjoy really strange things. You would be surprised. For example, it's pretty common for men to take pleasure in erotic asphyxiation. Not to mention one of my former patients… He could reach an orgasm only when he watched walruses in television…"

"I really don't want to hear that."

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I got slightly carried away since sexology is my specialisation. Did you know my master's degree was mostly about the correlation between sexuality and personality disorders?"

Shizuo shook his head while wondering how it was possible that someone could receive an academic degree for writing something so stupid. But he was polite enough not to voice his thoughts. Hoshino-sensei adjusted her celadon glasses and looked at him.

"Back to Izaya-san's case. Why don't you accept his proposal?"

Shizuo had to grit his teeth and count to ten before answering her. Otherwise he would have to break his promise and vent his anger on the innocent desk.

"I don't want to be accused of rape."

"I guess, you're right. Izaya-san is rather capable of doing something like that. I probably should not speak ill of my patients, but he has an awful personality."

Shizuo sighed heavily. This situation seemed hopeless.

"What I'm supposed to do…"

Hoshino-sensei smiled to him again. Shizuo would have never thought that someone's smile might disturb him to such a degree.

"Oh, it's simple. Before you'll agree, you'll have to gather all the evidence you can get to prove that it was Izaya-san who initiated this. I suggest recording your conversations. Then if the worst comes to the worst, you'll just use it against him. Also keep in mind that even if Izaya-san is a masochist, anal sex without preparation has rather unpleasant consequences. But lube is not the only thing you should buy. Please don't forget about condoms. Hatesex or not, safety should always have a top priority.

Shizuo stared at her in complete disbelief. He didn't even know what to say, he was completely dumbstruck. She made him revise his opinion about the meaning of the word freak. Even Shinra, with his constant rants about love for Celty, seemed normal when compared to Hoshino-sensei. Finally Shizuo was able to get himself together and spoke:

"I need to think it over."

"Very well then. Thank you very much for not throwing my desk out, Shizuo-san. And have a nice day."


	22. Chapter 22

**Finally. I was finally able to edit and correct all chapters of this story. Being my very own beta reader wasn't an easy task. Still, I suspect that I might've overlooked many mistakes. Well, at least this fic is now less dreadful than it used to be. Hope you liked it, my dear readers.**

**Rating: M (and for good reasons)**

**Disclaimer: All rights to Durarara belong to its owners. I wish, I was amongst them.**

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><p><strong>Evening in a certain apartment in Shinjuku<strong>

After hearing the door bell, Izaya was quite surprised when he saw Shizuo's silhouette displayed on his intercom. The opportunity to make his enemy wait and test his patience was tempting but Izaya really liked his new door. So, he simply opened them and gestured Shizuo to come in.

"What brings you here, Shizu-chan?"

"It's funny you're asking that. Weren't you the one who told me to come?"

"You mean that? I was just joking. You didn't take it seriously, did you?"

"What if I did?"

"Here is your beer, Izaya…Oooh it's you."

Shizuo turned around only to see Namie putting a grocery bag on Izaya's table. She headed towards the door and gave both men a malicious smile.

"I'm leaving now. And don't you worry, Heiwajima-san. I won't tell anyone that it was you who killed Izaya. Have some fun."

They both observed in silence as she left. Izaya made his way towards the table and took one of the cans.

"Namie is such a _charming_ woman. Would you like some beer, Shizu-chan?"

"I hate that stuff."

Izaya grinned then opened the can and took a gulp.

"I wouldn't propose it to you otherwise. By the way, you might want to remove your clothes."

"There is no way in hell I'm removing them!"

"Then you may as well stay dressed, it's fine by me. But if you want to have sex, your precious clothes may get dirty."

Shizuo ground his teeth but he had to admit Izaya had a point. After their first "encounter" he had to throw away his bartender suit. It was something he'd rather avoid doing twice. Yet he didn't want to do exactly as Izaya told him. He had an idea.

"How about you removing them first?"

"Fine."

Izaya finished his beer and put the now empty can on the table. He slowly started undressing. First he took off his shirt and put it next to the can. Then he unbuckled his belt and removed his trousers alongside with the rest of his clothing. Shizuo watched him carefully.

"You're too thin. Do you even eat something?"

"I do. It's your turn."

"Not so fast. Where is your knife? I want to see it."

"Looks like Hoshino-sensei has infected you with her paranoia. It's here, see?"

Izaya picked up his switchblade from the pile of his clothes, showed it to Shizuo and then put it on table again. Then he shot him a meaningful glare.

"Your turn."

Shizuo hesitated a moment before slowly proceeding to remove his clothes. Izaya's stare made him feel really uncomfortable.

"You're thin too, Shizu-chan. But otherwise you have a nice body."

"Shut up!"

Shizuo could barely stop himself from blushing furiously. Izaya grinned and slowly started approching him. When they were only centimetres apart he flung his arms around the other man's neck. He had to stood on tiptoes to kiss Shizuo. It alarmed him that the latter was strangely unresponsive and his lips tightly closed. It was until he was grabbed by both his wrists, pinned to the wall and his lips attacked violently. Izaya would smirk, if he only could. Forceful and aggressive Shizuo turned him on much more than passive and sleeping one. He felt himself getting harder. When they parted for breath Shizuo pulled back then took out something from his pants' pocket and threw it in the Izaya's direction. The latter caught it with ease.

"Here, prepare yourself."

Izaya looked at the bottle of lube in disbelief. Shizuo never ceased to surprise him. Ha also had a similar bottle inside one of his drawers but he guessed that mentioning it would not be too safe at the moment. He smirked to Shizuo who was currently opening the pack with condoms.

"Are you so sure that I want to bottom?"

"You don't have any other choice because there is no way in hell I'm letting you top. And you better hurry up or I take you without any preparation, Izaya-kun."

Izaya could tell that Shizuo was being serious, so he sighed and proceeded to prepare himself. He was doing it for the first time. It felt slightly strange but not particularly painful or unpleasant. He barely managed to finish when Shizuo who has just dealt with the condom forced him to lean on the desk and entered him without any more ado. Though his roughness was more of a result of him being inexperienced rather than uncaring.

Izaya held back a pained moan. He quickly got used to Shizuo's pace though. The mixture of pain and pleasure made it impossible for him to held his moans anymore. His fingernails left some scratches on the smooth surface of his desk. After they both climaxed Izaya came to the conclusion that he would have to clean his desk himself. In that one case he'd rather not observe Namie's reaction. Shizuo pulled back then put his pants back on and, to Izaya's indignation, took out a pack of cigarettes.

"Smoking is strictly forbidden in my apartment, Shizu-chan!"

Shizuo looked at Izaya angrily but he eventually put the cigarettes back to his pocket. Then he proceeded to finish getting dressed.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm not allowed to smoke, so I'm leaving. There is nothing else for me to do here."

"Haven't you forgotten about something?"

Shizuo gave it some thought. He remembered about lube and condoms. He also recorded the whole encounter (though he would sooner drop dead than he allow someone to listen to it). And he didn't kill Izaya. He decided he hadn't forgotten about anything.

"I don't think so."

"But Shizu-chan, you've forgotten about farewell kiss and wishing me a good night!"

Shizuo frowned.

"Do you like this desk, Izaya-kun?"

Izaya had an awful suspicion about the nature of this question.

"Why do you ask?"

"Because if you don't shut up, I'm going to throw you out the window together with it!"

Izaya sighed.

"Seriously, Shizu-chan, couldn't you be just a little bit more nice?"

Izaya made several steps in Shizuo's direction who tensed immediately. The former smiled broadly and continued moving. When he was close enough, he stood on tiptoes again and gave the other man's kiss on the cheek.

"Good night, Shizu-chan. By the way, does recording during the intercourse turns you on? If that's the case, then I strongly recommend you to push the rec button instead of play one."

Shizuo blushed in embarrassment and hurriedly left the apartment. Izaya waved his hand at him.

"See you next time, Shizu-chan!"

**I think one may safely assume that those two have finally achieved some sort of consensus.**

**The End**


End file.
